It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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