I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
