One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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