i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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