Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
