I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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