normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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