the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
