omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
