If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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