one two three fourrrrnication!
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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