Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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