You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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