What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
