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More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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