Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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