if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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