i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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