I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
