He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize