the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize