God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
