I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
