Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
