Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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