I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
