I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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