I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
