Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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