Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
