His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We talked him into tasing himself.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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