I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
