More tranny stories later!
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
