you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
