i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
are you so shy because you have an std?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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