yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
