Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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