Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
