Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
