why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
