she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
