Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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