i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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