Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
