there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
