I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
