to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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