someone threw a dead crab at me
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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