Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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