Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
