If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
soo... how was my night?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
