remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
