man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
