but the lizard people decide everything anyway
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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