It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
