Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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