found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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