Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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