dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
