i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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