what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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