kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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