the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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