i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
