I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
