I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
