At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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