i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
