Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
